Did you know? Cats can be divided into Fake cats and Real cats. The former live in advertisements, obediently eat (or so it seems) the food from the indicated tin, and are as calm as holograms; the latter—you’re never quite sure where they live (in your house? On the street? At the neighbours’?), you’re not quite sure what they eat, and it’s best to be wary when they’re too quiet. To defend this noble species, you must first learn to recognise it. To that end, Terry Pratchett, the brilliant creator of Discworld, joined by Gray Jolliffe and his sharp, scratchy illustrations, has written the delightful little volume you hold in your hands. Here, Real cats are described in all their glory: ears that look as though they’ve been cut by serrated scissors, hearing sharp enough to detect a fridge opening from the other side of the house, and absolutely no need for a name since the only thing they understand is “Get off the table, you ugly brute!” In eighteen hilarious chapters, you’ll discover how to acquire a Real cat, how to be abandoned by it in the most horrifying circumstances, how (not) to take it to the vet, how to coax it out of an unreachable corner without needing stitches, and how to live happily even when it isn’t there (because in reality, it always is—you’re just the one who can’t see it).